Living With Social Anxiety? I can help.

Social Anxiety and Panic Disorder can really hurt your social life, especially when your job requires you to be social. I tried to deal with it on my own, using breathing techniques and mental imagery, but those alternatives didn’t get rid of my issues, although they did help somewhat. I had to seek professional advice. For the first time I had been professionally diagnosed with Social Anxiety and Panic Disorder, which was years ago now. The doctor prescribed me with 10mg of Lexapro. Lexapro worked fabulously. Most of my worst symptoms were gone within a day or two of starting the medicine. No more violent shakes, chest pains, dizziness or muscle twitches. I still had some slight light-headedness and a little nervous reddening under some situations, but for the most part I was better.

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The unfortunate thing of this diagnosis, Social Anxiety, is that it is something that doesn’t just go away. The doctor gave me the choice of just the medication or medication and counseling. I chose just medicating, not seeing how a counselor could help me when I can’t even help myself. Though I still have not begun seeing a counselor I now believe that if you have Social Anxiety or Panic Disorder it would be a wise thing to seek counseling as an added defense. And those pills? They quickly became my enemy. The main reason for this is that they took away my creativity. Sure, my social anxiety and panic disorder disappeared, hidden under a cloud that took over my mind. I was like a zombie.

I had to find other ways for “treating” Social Anxiety. I learned to keep myself close to friends when I went out, that way I felt I hada safety net, and found it easier when new people came into the picture. Breathing techniques do work. If you breath in through your nose and out through your mouth slow and steady and concentrate on calming yourself it can have a great effect at slowing your pulse rate and easing your anxiety. I use this technique quite often when I feel a panic attack coming on; that tightening in your chest and the dizzy feeling. If you breath like this just for a few minutes it will work wonders.

I have also found that aromatherapy can help. Relaxing scents can help calm your nerves. Carry a small sachet of lavender in your pocket or purse and breath the scent in deeply when you feel your anxiety welling up. You can also use other scents if you’d like. Chose a smell that is comforting to you; when you get nervous and breath in the scent it will remind you of something that makes you feel safe and it will help you to relax.

There are many ways that you can use to control or “treat” your Social Anxiety and/or Panic Disorder, but always remember that it is best to see a professional before taking any medical symptom into your own hands.
Set up an appointment if you would like to learn more techniques by emailing me at yvonne@holismcoach.org.

Great Ways to Add Some Romance to Your Relationship

Some people make the idea of being romantic seem like something more difficult to do than it really is. Romance is simple, loving, giving and beautiful. People these days may just be confused as to what romance really is.

What romance is not: A roll in the hay, someone saying “Hey baby, let’s do it”, or the groping of any body parts.

Here are just a few things you can do for that special someone in your life that they will find extremely romantic (and you may even get that “roll in the hay” you wanted for doing them).

Romantic idea #1

Surprise your Significant Other (known from here on as SO) with a candle lit dinner. Sounds simple, right? Well, it’s not THAT simple. Don’t pick up a pizza and light some candles, that’s not romantic. Chinese take-out can be romantic if you aren’t avid in the kitchen. But if you fancy yourself a chef I suggest you whip up something on your own in the kitchen, say maybe your SO’s favorite dish? TIP: Do not use scented candles on your dinning table when eating. The scent of the candle will distract from the delicious smells of your well-cooked meal. Try just using some plain old tapiers or votives. It’s not the candle the makes it romantic, it’s the ambiance of the lighting!

Romantic idea #2

Send your SO some flowers. It doesn’t matter what kind of flowers they are or how many, just do it. I bet the last time they got flowers was so long ago they can’t even remember. Send flowers to them at work to make all of their co-workers jealous, or just have some waiting on the table when they get home. Even hand delivering them is a very romantic gesture.

Romantic idea #3

Tell your SO you love them. Give them a lovely, relaxing back massage. There is nothing more romantic in a relationship than someone telling you how they feel and then showing you how they feel about you. Use some soothing, aromatic massage oils. Whisper sweet nothings as you gently relieve all of their days stresses. And this is the part where you just might get that “roll in the hay” you’ve been begging for since you started reading this article.

So, now you know just how easy it is to turn a normal day into a romantic day for both you and your SO.

Top Secrets for Curing Insomnia

It’s Time to Go to Sleep

A lot of people have problems getting to sleep at night these days because our lives are so busy and it feels like our minds just never stop working. I, myself, have suffered from Insomnia and have even been prescribed medications in the past to help me get to sleep at night. But all those medications did was make me want to sleep until noon and wake up groggy, with no energy.

 There are ways to help put your mind at ease at night and curb Insomnia without taking medications. It just takes some time, patience and relaxation. In this article I am going to give you five secrets I have found that help me get to sleep at night (instead of in the morning).

Secret #1

I find it helps to curl up with a good book at night. The only thinking my brain does when I am reading is of what is going on in the story, rather than all the things I forgot to do today. Make sure you have a dim light to read by, but bright enough not to be straining your eyes. If the light is too bright you won’t want to fall asleep! I always cuddle up under my blankets and get cozy in a position I usually sleep in, that way when my eyes get droopy all I have to do is mark my place in the book, reach my arm up to switch off the lamp and fall asleep! I would suggest reading a Novel rather than a Text Book, by the way!

Secret #2

Keep a journal of all the things you want to do tomorrow or things you forgot to do today. Write it all down before you go to bed. Insomnia is brought on a lot these days because we have too much on our platter and we just keep thinking about all of it! This journal will help clear all of that clutter from your mind before you even hit the sack. Journal about anything, just get it out of your head.

Secret #3

There are all different types of breathing and stretching techniques that can help you relax your body and mind. Try starting with your toes by stretching them for a minute, and then move up joint by joint. After the stretch let them relax and feel all the stresses leaving your body. Make sure you keep your eyes closed and your mind blank during this exercise. This is a good thing to do throughout the day if you get very stressed also!

Secret #4

Rely on soothing sounds and scents to help relax you and send your mind into the wonderful oblivion of sleep. Some people enjoy the sounds of light rainfall, or crickets or maybe even ocean waves. You can make your own recordings to listen to or many places carry sound machines that you can purchase as well. They make scent machines now too. Think of a scent that relaxes you. Try putting Vanilla or Lavender in a sachet and tuck it under your pillow. As you breath in the scent you will become relaxed and able to sleep more freely.

Secret #5

Sometimes it can be just one small beam of light that is sneaking in and keeping you up. That little beam of light is possibly triggering your brain to think it isn’t really bedtime. I have found that wearing a sleep mask not only keeps that light out but also makes it easier to blank out my thoughts and fall into dreamland.

Insomnia doesn’t have to control your life. Try these simple secrets I have found and see if they work before you head out to pick up that prescription!

De-Clutter Your Home to De-Clutter Your Mind

Having a cluttered up living space will bring added stress to your life and your mind. Think of how much happier you would be if you weren’t always tripping over things or needing to dig through stuff just to find what you are looking for. De-Cluttering is a simple task, as long as you are willing to get rid of the stuff you don’t need and incorporate some organizational skills. Shows like Clean House and Hoarders are a great inspiration to cleaning up your home and keeping it that way. Here are some tips on how to organize your home.

Step 1

The best way to start your de-cluttering is to sort all of your stuff into three different categories: 1) stuff you want to keep, 2) garbage and 3) stuff you’d like to sell and/or donate. This way as soon as you have everything sorted you can commence to getting rid of the two categories that aren’t keepers. I have a great Mantra for “keeper” items: If it doesn’t serve some sort of immediate purpose it isn’t needed! Also get rid of things that you haven’t used in 6 months or longer!

Step 2

Figure out how you plan to organize the items you decided to keep. This is where Filing Cabinets, Storage Bins and Closets come in. Keep all of your important papers organized in a filing cabinet or even an accordion file folder. Organize your cupboards and closets in ways that the items you need are visible so that you don’t have to dig through stuff to find what you want. When you have to dig you just end up making even more of a mess, but if you can readily find what you want then there is less work to do when you are done.

Step 3

Keep it this way. Don’t buy useless stuff when you know you’ll just bring it home and set it to the side and sooner or later you’ll have another stack of un-needed, un-wanted stuff. With the stuff you want to get rid of, but isn’t actually garbage, a garage sale is an excellent idea. You can make some money back on the stuff you wasted time and money on, and maybe use it towards some of those storage items you’re going to need. If a garage sale seems like too much work for you then you can sell on line through Craig’s List and /or Ebay. Donate the items you don’t need or want money back for to Goodwill, Salvation Army or any other place that accepts donations of used items. And with places like this you can also get a tax break for your donation!

Get clean, de-clutter. It will relieve stress and make life much easier!

Scrapbook Away Your Stress

Using your own creative outlets can be a terrific way to beat the effects of stress and even depression. Some people use writing to combat stress, such as writing your feelings in a journal or writing poetry. Some people draw or paint to help them relieve the tension our everyday lives can put on us. While others may just try to wait it out and find that patience doesn’t seem to help them as much as it may be hurting them. Here are some fun ways to use creativity, as in scrapbooking, as a decoder for stress.

There are a few things you will need to start any of the following projects: Blank scrapbooks, glue sticks, newspapers, magazines and scissors. First pick an idea that you are very interested in, then cut out items/articles from the magazines and newspapers and glue them in the scrapbook(s). The reason for having “scrapbooks,” rather than just one singular scrapbook, is that you may come up with many different ideas for your creative adventure. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Recipe Book: If you enjoy cooking and like to clip out recipes from magazines and such this is a great way to keep all of your recipes and cooking tips organized. Just glue them into a scrapbook; and to add some flair you can get stickers of food items and put them in on your pages. Putting the book together will help you relax and then you can cook some of your great recipes with less stress because you won’t have to dig through a pile of papers to find what you want.

Health & Beauty Book: While you are perusing the latest issues of Prevention or Women’s Day you are bound to find some great health and beauty tips. Why keep the whole magazine around to clutter and add more stress when you can just clip out the articles of interest to you and glue them into a scrapbook where you can find exactly what you want because you put it there!

Fashion Book: Do you find yourself wishing you had some fancy shoes that you saw in some style magazine, or wanted to recall the latest fashions without flipping through the same magazine over and over again? If you just clip out the pieces you are interested in and glue them into your own scrapbook it will give you less work to do. You can also put any fashion tips that you find in those same magazines in your scrapbook!

Current Events: If you enjoy reading the newspaper then this is the project for you. If you find an interesting article, rather than just reading it and tossing it, you can cut it out and put it in your scrapbook and share it with others, and have it for future reference. You could create your scrapbook for one subject, like politics or animals, or you can make it for any news related items you want. Include comic strips that you enjoyed for a quick laugh in between!

Crafting Book: If you are a crafter and enjoy collecting craft ideas from the many different crafting magazines that are out there here is yet another way to keep your house free of “magazine pile” clutter. Just clip out the projects you think you might want to work on, glue them in your book and toss those useless extra pages in the recycle bin! Take a picture of the ones you complete and add those to your book too!

These are just a few basic ideas to start you out in your new less stressful life life. Use them or come up with your own ideas related to things that you are interested in. Take some time out for yourself, be creative, tackle stress head on and relax!

Don’t Stop Dreaming

Dreams are just glimpses into possible futures!

Cleanse Your Soul For Peace of Mind

It doesn’t matter who you are or what faith you are, you can use a little soul cleanse once in awhile. I went to school to learn about the soul, and about alternative therapies that can help with numerous things, including cleansing the soul. Cleansing your soul can clear out some of the stress in your life, can help clear your mind of unnecessary thoughts and it can help relieve anxiety and other mental illnesses. Cleansing your soul can also help you to heal from other medical issues, internal and external.

The first step to cleansing your soul is through meditation. Meditation works best when you find yourself a quiet place in the house, or outside. Someplace where there will be no interruptions; no telephone, no television, no screaming kids and no ringing doorbells. Sit comfortably on a chair or on the ground. You don’t have to have anything but yourself. Close your eyes and clear your mind. Picture a white light radiating within you and picture it encompassing your entire body. Once you are inside this white light focus on whatever part of you that feels like it needs healing. If you suffer from headaches focus on your head. If you suffer from lower back pain put your focus there. See that area being healed, the white light pulsating and becoming brighter. Take slow, deep breaths. Once the light is full and bright you can begin to envision the white light coming back into you and residing back in your center where it started. Now you can open your eyes and go on to the next step.

Your next step for cleansing your soul is to let go of the past and the pain. You can do this by writing your feelings in a journal or just by thinking them and letting them move on. Let go of feelings of pain and hatred towards people. Let go of feelings of dislike. Let go of memories of times of sickness or hurt. If you write in a journal you can write notes to specific people who have hurt you, or who you have hurt. Once you have written everything down you can throw out the journal as a symbolical way of cleansing your soul of all of that clutter.

The last step of cleansing your soul is to forgive yourself. Accept that we are all flawed and move on. See your soul as clean and free of pain. Live your life like a cleansed soul, not causing harm to others. Avoid feelings of hate, let go of feelings of fear. Your cleansed soul will help you feel healthier, give you more energy and it will allow you to think clearer.

Need more help with cleansing your soul, or any other matters? Schedule a session with the coach! yvonne@holismcoach.org

Five Ways to Boost Your Confidence Immediately

Maybe you are just having a bad day, or maybe you are always a self-conscious person. Either way there are ways that you can feel better about yourself and boost your confidence. It doesn’t have to be difficult to feel better about yourself. You just need to do something new, something that is good for you, and something that will help put a smile on your face. Use the following five tips to boost your confidence now and have a happy day! It doesn’t need to be a struggle to feel good about yourself.

Get A Haircut

Sometimes just having a new look can make you feel worlds different. Get a fun haircut, or change your hair color. Even just going to the salon for a professional looking style can help to boost your confidence for miles. Do something fun with it; go from long to short, or get an interesting cut that will get people talking. If the warm months are on their way try getting some blond highlights to get ready for the sunshine. A new look can equal a new you!

Buy Some New Clothes

New clothes can make you feel all the more stylish, which will be another boost in that old flattened confidence. Buy something fun or flashy to wear out on a night on the town. Pick something that is cut to accentuate your positives. Dream big and let money not be an object on just one new outfit that will make you look like a movie star! What movie star doesn’t have confidence?

Adopt A New Diet

Eat a salad for lunch today. It will give you the nutrients you need for a boost in energy and it won’t add any fat to your thighs. You will get filled up but still feel good about yourself because you won’t get all bloated like you do when you eat those greasy fries and burgers. Eat carrot sticks for a snack instead of potato chips, and try skipping red meat, bread and pasta for dinner just this once. Opt for brown rice, chicken and some broccoli instead!

Start A Fitness Routine

Start a routine of walking one mile every other day, or take a walk around the mall on your lunch break. Any little bit of fitness you can add to your daily routine will help you get fit, which will help your feel better and will help boost your confidence. Not only that, but you will be healthier for it also.

Make One Of Your Dreams Come True

It doesn’t matter how big or little the dream is, just pick one and make it come true. You’ll feel like you’ve accomplished something huge and you’ll be smiling for the rest of the day. That smile will boost your confidence and it will make the people around you smile too!

Know that you are one of a kind!

Need more help boosting your confidence? Schedule a session with the coach today by emailing yvonne@holismcoach.org.

Natural Ways for Anger Management

Many of us find ourselves getting angry. It’s not always easy to calm the monster inside, sometimes he sneaks out and we yell and scream, and our blood pressure rises. All of these are major health concerns that can lead to terrible things, like heart attacks and stroke. Not only is it unhealthy, it’s also unflattering. When our anger monsters rise up we tend to turn red in the face, say nasty words and shake like we are going to explode. Therapy is a great treatment for anger management, but you can also do some things at home to help keep yourself calm and happy.

To begin with, it’s important to come up with some way in which you can calm yourself down. Use meditation if you can, or just simply stop and count down from ten. With meditation you can use a trigger word that relaxes you, kind of like ohm. Say ohm, in a low, soft tone. Stretch the word out and feel it deep within yourself. Let it relax your whole body and your mind.

Sip a cup of tea when you feel your anger on the rise. The best tea for relaxation is Chamomile. This tea will help you calm down and relax, letting your nerves and your stressed heart have a break. As you sip that warm and tasty cup of tea you will forget all about whatever it was that was making you mad. Try the essential oil Bergamont also, which is another natural stress reliever. This can also be infused in tea.

When you get angry think of the incredible hulk, how he gets all big, green and muscle-bound. When the man becomes the hulk he has no control over what he does. He doesn’t just hurt the bad guys, his rage also makes him hurt the good guys. We do this when we get angry too. We take out our anger and frustration on our friends and family, even if they didn’t do anything to deserve the evil that we are throwing at them. You must learn to control your anger so that you don’t use it to hurt people who are only innocent bystanders. Stop, breath deep and start to keep track of what triggers your anger and rage. When you know what makes you fly off the handle it makes it easier to keep it from happening in the future!

Use Positive Thinking to Find Success

Success is something that lies within us all. We only succeed when we strive to do so. You can’t just expect to sit around and have success come to you, you need to get up off your butt and go for it. Drive, dedication and motivation are great tools that help in the ability to succeed, but they aren’t the only ones. Another important key to finding success is positive thinking. If you use the following tips for positive thinking in your quest for success and stay both motivated and driven you are sure to succeed.

First, make your plan and write it down. What is it you are trying to succeed at? Are you trying to find a job, lose weight or stop a bad habit? Any of these things can be accomplished with the use of positive thinking. Make a list of the things you want to change, or accomplish. Below them write out ways in which you can succeed at them. If you are going to stop smoking some examples would be; see the doctor, get nicotine patches and buy some gum. At the top of the list you should write “believe that I can succeed.”

Do some research on whatever it is that you plan on accomplishing. If you are looking for your dream job you need to find out what kind of experience they are looking for and how they’d prefer you apply. If you want to lose weight you should find out what fitness routine you’d prefer and get any equipment you might need. Then visualize yourself doing these things that you want to do. Visualize yourself succeeding at them.

The next step is to actually “do” the things you have written down. Nothing can be accomplished without some footwork. A job will not come to you, love will not come to you and you will not lose weight by staying in bed all day. Get in the car and go to the places you want to work, talk to the managers. Join a dating service, or have friends hook you up. Go for a walk, or a jog, or a run.

Planning, visualizing and believing in yourself can add to your confidence and will help keep you motivated for success. If you think positively and believe that you will succeed at everything you do then you will succeed and you will be a better person for it. Being positive will also help you stay happy and keep you from being anxious or stressed. The power of positive thinking is an amazing thing and it can work for you if you chose to use it!

If you need more tips on becoming a success, schedule a session with the coach by emailing yvonne@holismcoach.org.